November

These last couple of months have found me to be a little fussy.

I’ve lost a dear Aunt, a couple of unfortunate things happened at work, my writing output has been patchy, my home has been in disarray…I needn’t go on.

But, here you are November. I’m expecting bigger and better things from you.

This is the thankful month, so I’m going to quit being such a whiner, smack myself around a bit and start paying attention to all the positives.

My Aunt passed away, but what a lucky girl and woman I was to have her in my life as long as I did! Work can be a pain, but more things go right than wrong. And as bad as everyone talks about my boss (oh, the backstabbing)- I really like and appreciate the guy (no, I’m not sucking up- he won’t read this). My writing has been less than ideal, but I’m also trying to work on three projects at once, which makes any progress seem slow. My home has been unkempt, but how grateful am I that I have a place to call home and to invite others in? (You know, when it’s not messy).

I feel better already.

It can be difficult at times to be appreciative of circumstances. But, I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a day that I’ve drawn a breath where there wasn’t something to be thankful for…something to celebrate. It’s all dependent on which direction I choose to look.

Here’s hoping, this month, we all find the strength to look in the right direction…

 

“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity.”
– Elie Wiesel

 

July

The first two weeks of July were spent being sick. It was awful. The doctor said to drink fluids, get rest and take cough syrup because it was a virus- medicine wasn’t useful in this situation.

This will sound melodramatic, but it was one of those illnesses where you consider your life and decide, on the whole, that you’ve accomplished enough and was blessed with times of joy.

Then, because you can’t breathe (and everything you learned in biology class leads you to believe that filling your lungs with oxygen is important)- you prepare for death.

Sleep deprivation toys with your emotions, whispering bits of nonsense that suddenly seem illuminating:

“Think of all the times you’ve been on antibiotics. If you had lived hundreds of years ago, you would have died 7 or 8 times already. You’ve had a good run.”

“Maybe the doctor was wrong. You need a lot of medicine. Perhaps medicine that hasn’t even been invented yet.”

“They weren’t spraying for mosquitoes the other day, they were infecting the neighborhood with illness.”

After several days of this on-going foolishness, I awoke, capable of breathing just a little through my nose…my ribs not as sore, from all the coughing. This is progress, I thought. I’m getting better.

Even now, a month later there is an infrequent, nagging cough that hasn’t completely left me. A reminder that, by all accounts, this may be my ninth life, so I’d better make it good.

In the end, embracing foolishness is a small price to pay for someday having an opportunity at wisdom.