A Love/Hate Relationship with April

Toni L. Harty

O.K. Deep breath. It’s almost the middle of May. April is behind you. Calm down.

So, life did not go as planned. I accepted a full-time working position. It will be stressful, I may take up drinking, but I hope to make a difference.

Given that I’ve always wanted to make an impact with my words…I hope my spoken word will be as therapeutic for me as my written words. The written words that, I now, barely have the time to write. Grrr.

I’ll live.

I took a vacation for 8 glorious days during April and it was just the refreshment I needed. It has given me the determination to do many things. I spent time with three (out of 20 or so) of my favorite people in the whole world. Do you know what kind of elixir that is for a person’s soul?

I was at the beach one day and in the mountains the next. Basked in the sun, listened to the rain and inhaled the scents of nature.

Maybe I enjoyed it so much because it has been five years since the last vacation. It helped me enjoy every second of this little excursion.

When I came back to reality- I was faced with too many people struggling with illness or disease and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to lose anyone. I don’t want them to suffer. I don’t want to say goodbye. I become a bratty little girl in pigtails, balling up my fists, shouting to the heavens how life isn’t fair.

April has toyed with my emotions in a most dishonorable way. And to that, I say: Bite me. It’s not an eloquent sentiment, but it’s real. We’ll see what May brings…besides flowers.

“Life is never fair and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.”

-Oscar Wilde 

17 thoughts on “A Love/Hate Relationship with April”

  2. I’m also facing the choice of taking up a full time job (I currently only work four days a week) and I’m worried about the impact it will have on my time for writing. So I feel your stress! Sounds like the holiday was a great decision though, an opportunity to recharge the batteries. Keep taking those deep breaths!

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    1. Thanks Susie! I haven’t written a word this week and that’s just not like me! Wishing you much success and guidance as you make those big decisions. I took the job because I have college tuitions to pay. Not sure I would have done it otherwise. 🙂

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      1. Yes, it’s pesky financial reasons for me too. I think it will come down to balance and how best to use what time is left over. Hope you can get back into a writing routine. Maybe set a tiny word count goal per day and then gradually increase it as you go along – those mini achievements all add up!

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        1. You are so right. I think 300 words is a low goal, but when I’m not even meeting that- frustration sets in. It would be great to live off our writing, but sometimes that’s not the case. It’s a serious catch-22- If I had all kinds of time to write and market, I may be successful at it. But, I can’t take the time to write if I’m working so much. This is the cross to bear for so many writers. I know I’m not alone. 🙂

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  3. Oh sweetie, the month of April? How about the first five months of the year? This is a rough one, that I keep hoping that the next month will get better! I throw temper tantrums all the time. Usually in the shower, so there’s no witnesses! 😂
    I love you & I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day! 💕

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    1. I love you, Laura! I think you have better reason than I for a tantrum…or a hundred. I’m here if you need me. Always. ❤ I hope you have a peaceful and joyful Mother's Day. Lots and lots of PEACE! 😉

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  5. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge God and He will direct your path! I know of no other person, place or thing that can truly satisfy us on this earth! Jesus said we’d have many trials/troubles in this life, but cheer up; He has overcome the world and in Him we can also!

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