A Love/Hate Relationship with April

O.K. Deep breath. It’s almost the middle of May. April is behind you. Calm down.

So, life did not go as planned. I accepted a full-time working position. It will be stressful, I may take up drinking, but I hope to make a difference.

Given that I’ve always wanted to make an impact with my words…I hope my spoken word will be as therapeutic for me as my written words. The written words that, I now, barely have the time to write. Grrr.

I’ll live.

I took a vacation for 8 glorious days during April and it was just the refreshment I needed. It has given me the determination to do many things. I spent time with three (out of 20 or so) of my favorite people in the whole world. Do you know what kind of elixir that is for a person’s soul?

I was at the beach one day and in the mountains the next. Basked in the sun, listened to the rain and inhaled the scents of nature.

Maybe I enjoyed it so much because it has been five years since the last vacation. It helped me enjoy every second of this little excursion.

When I came back to reality- I was faced with too many people struggling with illness or disease and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to lose anyone. I don’t want them to suffer. I don’t want to say goodbye. I become a bratty little girl in pigtails, balling up my fists, shouting to the heavens how life isn’t fair.

April has toyed with my emotions in a most dishonorable way. And to that, I say: Bite me. It’s not an eloquent sentiment, but it’s real. We’ll see what May brings…besides flowers.

“Life is never fair and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.”

-Oscar Wilde 

17 thoughts on “A Love/Hate Relationship with April”

  1. I’m also facing the choice of taking up a full time job (I currently only work four days a week) and I’m worried about the impact it will have on my time for writing. So I feel your stress! Sounds like the holiday was a great decision though, an opportunity to recharge the batteries. Keep taking those deep breaths!

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    1. Thanks Susie! I haven’t written a word this week and that’s just not like me! Wishing you much success and guidance as you make those big decisions. I took the job because I have college tuitions to pay. Not sure I would have done it otherwise. 🙂

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      1. Yes, it’s pesky financial reasons for me too. I think it will come down to balance and how best to use what time is left over. Hope you can get back into a writing routine. Maybe set a tiny word count goal per day and then gradually increase it as you go along – those mini achievements all add up!

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      2. You are so right. I think 300 words is a low goal, but when I’m not even meeting that- frustration sets in. It would be great to live off our writing, but sometimes that’s not the case. It’s a serious catch-22- If I had all kinds of time to write and market, I may be successful at it. But, I can’t take the time to write if I’m working so much. This is the cross to bear for so many writers. I know I’m not alone. 🙂

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  2. Oh sweetie, the month of April? How about the first five months of the year? This is a rough one, that I keep hoping that the next month will get better! I throw temper tantrums all the time. Usually in the shower, so there’s no witnesses! 😂
    I love you & I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day! 💕


    1. I love you, Laura! I think you have better reason than I for a tantrum…or a hundred. I’m here if you need me. Always. ❤ I hope you have a peaceful and joyful Mother's Day. Lots and lots of PEACE! 😉


  3. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge God and He will direct your path! I know of no other person, place or thing that can truly satisfy us on this earth! Jesus said we’d have many trials/troubles in this life, but cheer up; He has overcome the world and in Him we can also!


    1. Ah, Proverbs. Such wisdom in the good book. Thankfully, He forgives my moments of humanity and then reminds me of His promises. Thank you 🙂


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