Ready or Not…

It’s January first and I’m not ready.

Unlike so many years before, I have big plans for this year. I have made resolutions and set goals. I also stayed up until midnight to welcome the New Year, which I rarely do.

It was important to get a glimpse, a look at the 365 days that would be an upcoming opponent. Just like sizing up a competitor in preparation for the battle.

When you have youth on your side, there is no fear of what is going to come. The days are encountered with a brave boldness that reflects the beauty of ignorance.

Aging introduces more pain…grief…realities. The last couple of years,  have been met with trepidation. “I wonder what is going to happen this year?” “Just give me peace.”  “I’ll break if anything else gets piled on my shoulders.”

So, I eye my opponent on the first day of this long competition, standing upright as to ensure that the year 2018 is aware of my resolve.

Past years tap me on the shoulder and whisper in my ear the truth of time and all its complexities, but I can’t be bothered.

Because, in my other ear, faith and hope are chiming in. I choose to listen to their sweet nothings: “It may be a rough year, but we’re here for you. We always have been.”

And, slowly, past years acquiesce, remembering  that faith and hope have gotten me this far.

And I smile, putting a concerned look on my opponents face, as though I possess uncharted wisdom or a distinct advantage.

I’m coming for you, 2018- ready or not.