Ch-Ch-Changing

Growing up, I was surrounded by change…shifting relationships, monetary highs and lows, and a move during my junior year of high school that really upset me.

It never dawned on me how change would become such a big part of my life. In my twenties, change was my friend and constant companion. (In today’s terms, change was my “bae” and when we hung out, it was always “lit.”)

Boyfriends, locations, clothing styles, friendships, hobbies, etc. All of them equally endangered of being swapped out at any moment.

After getting married in my late twenties, I originally felt a bit stifled and claustrophobic, looking for my friend, change. I painted walls, moved furniture around…did whatever I could to make my surroundings look fresh or different.

But, the biggest experience shift was the day I gave birth to my daughter. It was humbling beyond anything imaginable. She needed consistency and I had to learn how to supply her with that. There were struggles on a regular basis, mingled with tears.

I had to be still. Patient. Selfless. Content. In retrospect, those were some of the biggest changes I’ve ever experienced. I stopped expending energy running after the external change and, unknowingly, my inner being changed. And that may sound like I have so much to be proud of, but, instead, I have so much to be thankful for.

My life became rooted and those roots began to grow deeper. The feeling was unfamiliar and not always welcome. But, year by year, my roots have grown and the storms have made them stronger.

Change and I are not on the best terms, lately. There have been too many birthdays, losses and uninvited drama.

But, I have to remember- change that I’ve chosen has not impacted my life or been nearly as beneficial as the change that has been thrust upon me.

At times, I must go back to simpler ideas and be still. Patient. Selfless. Content. Remembering that this is yet another opportunity to be thankful.

There is a point, after all, where some things become more difficult to improve upon, while others patiently await their turn.

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s